(I am back and we have some things to discuss. Can't... control.... anger!"

Friday, November 04, 2005

Crotching Tiger Hidden Dragon

First a little business to attend to :
(1) I finally have a chance to post - so I hope the was worth the 3 week wait.
(2) I added the challenge word so the blog spammers can fucking eat a cock!

Okay - sometimes I like to be informative. So I'd like to let the women out there know a few things. It is way easier to hit a toilet from point blank range than from about 3 feet in the air. For women it is like shooting fish in a barrel - they just sit down and no aiming is required - they just "go". For guys we have to actually aim our implement towards the toilet to get the desired results.

Sounds simple - right? Well there are many factors - not windage or anything like that - no more subtle issues. Sometimes the implement can be aimed in one direction and the stream will go in some other direction - it just happens like that. So you have to make a quick course correction. If you have to pee at night it's worse. You have to use some kind of urine ricochet sonar to determine where the stream is in the bowl. So depending on the sound of the ricochet you might have to change your aim. Even worse is the "split stream" (yeah contend with that women). That's right - one implement and magically 2 streams based on your height, angloe of attack and direction of the streams it might not even be possible to get them both on target.

So next time you go to sit down an "the seat is up" and you whine and cry (who the fuck doesn't look before they sit down? There could be a fucking pit viper in there or something) just remember all of the work we guys have to do.