holy shit!

I don't mean like the exclamation when something bad happens - I mean like the most sacred poo ever. Last week I was waiting to use the bathroom on my floor at work. The cleaning lady was in there (she is always in there right after I get to work and right after lunch - the 2 times I have the highest probability of needed the bathroom.... I digress). Anyway she walks out and heads through a door that I have never used. I have been sitting at the same desk on the same floor for 8 years - but I had never used that door. (It used to lead to a set of secure offices where they decided who to fire - I think). Anyway, a lightbulb goes off, "Why does the cleaning lady need to go back there?? It couldn't be... Could it be...? Is that possible... no that isn't poss... or is it? Is there a secret bathroom back there??????"

I had to wait for the coast to clear - but this morning I snuck back there. And holy shit there it was in all its glory. I almost ran back to our desks. But I ran into my team on the way back. I started speaking rapidly (and unintelligibly) to John, WH and my Intern (that's right - I have an intern because I am awesome). We are on the elevator with some other guy and I am spouting about this secret bathroom - but I just did a quick fly-by and had very few details. The team starts asking lots of questions (we have a combined 20 years in this building and no one has ever seen this bathroom). The other guy on the elevator asks if we are crazy [so I cut him - I guess that answered his question].

On the way back from StarBuck's John, Derek, Danielle and I head into the hidden lair. The hall that the bathroom is in has about 10 doors - and I can't remember which it is. Then Danielle here's the Paper Towel dispenser. We all realize simultaneously that means someone is about to emerge!! The door starts to swing open and we all make a mad dash in different directions. Derek runs into John, spilling coffee down Derek's shirt. We looked like kids who almost got caught egging someone's house.

Anyway - the guy coming out just laughed at us. We doubled back and checked out the bathroom. HOLY SHIT!! It has an ante room with 2 chairs. Then the interior actual bathroom. The lock is on the outer room! So you could, as John said, "strip naked out in this room and then head in for a naked shit." God dammit - it is fucking amazing!

I realize that I am spouting off about this to the whole Internet and that means I will probably have to get in a line when I christen the tabernacle - but man it will be worth it.

[From this point your wait for the tabernacle is 45 minutes]