(I am back and we have some things to discuss. Can't... control.... anger!"

Friday, June 03, 2005

Smokers.... you stink

Listen - there are 2 things I know to be true.
(1) If you have a cat your house smells. I had a cat over a year ago and my house still smells
(2) If you smoke - you stink

Most of the general public will kind of let it slide, instead of recoiling and gagging like we want to when we have to ride the elevator with you. Chewing a stick of Freedent doesn't make your clothes not smell like shit. Being stuck in a car or in an elevator is the worst. I wish smells were visible so I could see the big cloud of nasty and just take another elevator.

I saw Star Wars Episode 3 (awesome) and the guy in front of me had to leave to smoke - twice!! Are you fucking kidding me? You can't make it 2 hours? Each time he'd be gone for 10 minutes and come back smelling like mechanic's break room.

I love to watch the smokers twitch and squirm after the plane lands and then sits on the runway. That's right you fuckers - you have to wait a little longer for that sweet nicotine. "Removal or destrucion of the lavatory fire detector is a violation of Federal law." What? Are you serious - we need a federal law to prevent people from vandalizing fucking planes - THAT is how bad they need a cigarette?

The other gem of the smoking world is the "smoking rooms" at hotels. Jesus H. it smells like burning nutsack in those rooms. It is f'ing awesome - wait no it isn't. It sucks it bad and makes me want to suicide myself.

14 Comments:

Blogger Sarah said...

AMEN!!!! Glad you're back and still angry.

2:53 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Smokers are no worse then obese people.

3:23 PM

 
Blogger Scott said...

hmmm.... If they smell they are bad - but skinny people smell too (my skinniest friend in High School was "Smell Bad").

If they are encroaching on my seat in the plane they are bad too.

Overall I have to say that smakers are, in fact, worse.

3:38 PM

 
Blogger Tigerlily said...

"it smells like burning nutsack in those rooms"

WORD! Glad you are back.

4:33 PM

 
Blogger John said...

this really brings back a bad memory of my first room on our trip to New Orleans. Goddammit. You're in the luxury 3 bedroom apartment and I'm in a fucking ashtray but a little smaller. I hate you.

9:06 PM

 
Blogger Shamus O'Drunkahan said...

Man, that just points to how bad an addiction it must be if you have to leave a movie to get a fix.

But to leave Star Wars. Nope, sorry. I wouldn't have left to go to the bathroom.

Sorry for the mess Hoyts. But c'mon! I had to see that Lava fight! They were fighting on liquid MAGMA for christs sake!

9:15 AM

 
Blogger Nick Ward said...

Hey, hey. Take it easy. As a smoker myself, yes, I'd have to agree with you that we all effing stink. We are social outcasts. Unclean. Lepers.

But then, the tax we pay on these things pays for our health service something like five times over.

...and there's nothing *quite* like a post-coital cigarette! :-)

11:16 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"the tax we pay on these things pays for our health service"

It is funny you mention this because you/we wouldn't need so much money for health services if you effers stopped smoking! That's like fat people trying to claim obesity on their insurance. It just doesn't make sense.

11:43 AM

 
Blogger TheUltimateCyn said...

Does having a cigarillo count??

1:24 PM

 
Blogger LizzieDaisy said...

I got stuck with a smoking room over Indy 500 weekend... the only thing about that trip that bit was opening the door and being blasted with "stink." Ugh.

4:48 PM

 
Blogger Scott said...

Smokers don't pay for themselves. If you add in the 10 smoke breaks per day plus the sick time plus the sick time that you cause other people to take because they can't breathe plus the health care costs of the people you pollute with your secondhand smoke plus the fact that you'll probably be on the taxpayer's dime when you have a lung tumor the size of a matzah ball, you end up costing way more than you pay in cigarette taxes.

4:15 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Scott said...
"Smokers don't pay for themselves. If you add in the 10 smoke breaks per day plus the sick time plus the sick time that you cause other people to take because they can't breathe plus the health care costs of the people you pollute with your secondhand smoke plus the fact that you'll probably be on the taxpayer's dime when you have a lung tumor the size of a matzah ball, you end up costing way more than you pay in cigarette taxes."

Hmmm... this is true hatred here folks.
First let me be possibly the only person [you don't know] to say I have NEVER been absent from work due to smoking, actually, I am more of a workaholic.
I often times not only DON'T take breaks, but work through lunch - I guess anorexia is better than smoker's cough anyway.
I have NEVER made someone else sick from smoke, since I have the common concern to not smoke cigarillo's in mixed company, in eateries, in cars with non-smokers, in ANY environment where someone could be offended.
As for possibly dying or costing money to other taxpayer's due to smoking... well is smoking the ONLY vice that costs US taxpayers money? What about car insurance going up because some stupid dick drank some booze then got pulled over... usually sans insurance, what about the chicks who get knocked up and have a child they can't afford all because their parents [who could be taxpayers] refused to put their little skanks on the pill, what about the people who throw all their shit out of their window because they don't want their cars to be "trashed" ...who pays the people cleaning that shit up? I mean, I could go on, but why... when obviously there ARE other expenses you could worry about costing more than burying my lung cancer ridden body [since I am sure my wonderful children will joyfully cremate me anyway, how apropos]- I promise I won't cost you a dime, nor require you to expend your energy seeking fresh air in my company, nor will I ever bitch about how your frequent "health" problems [non-smoking related] somehow cost ME more money than I have and ever will spend on going to the doctor.
Gonna gripe? Become someone who can change the laws and boost taxes so friggin high for smokers that they are forced to quit, then they can all be sitting around going through withdrawals, not working [cuz now they really are sick from the Jones], angry [so they could potentially cost more money by hurting themselves or someone else]...
Just don't forget - we all have vices, bad habits. Wait until yours no longer please people...

3:18 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well said..Kudos for that rebuttal!

7:53 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You haven't suicided yourself yet...

We're waiting.....

4:23 PM

 

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