(I am back and we have some things to discuss. Can't... control.... anger!"

Thursday, June 16, 2005

Denied

I got up this morning and was pleased to see that our QTip canister was full again!!! (We don't use the package - we ditch that and put them in a plastic canister). I figure since it's been a few days a little fore-play is in order - but I can't wait and I just thrust the QTip into my ear. It is 1 nanosecond before I realize things are horribly wrong. There isn't enough cotton and the stick bends a little bit. I search the garbage frantically for the package... no luck.

I get to work and my wife calls to give me the morning update on the boys. "They are so cute, they both..." [I cut her off].
me - "You bought generic QTips - didn't you?!"
her - "what?"
me - "The QTips you got - they are not QTip brand (tm) are they?"
her - "Wha..? How the hell can you even tell"
me - "Oh, I can tell - let me read you my blog from this morning" (I read her the blog)
her - "You're an idiot"

So we are going to get divorced. I am taking applications for women that want to get up on this sexiness.
1 owner, low milage...

10 Comments:

Blogger Beck said...

I'd take you, but I need a compact model. At 5'2" and 120 (not pregnant), I think you'd squish me. 'Specially during the nookie.

Maybe a test drive? *wink*

6:32 PM

 
Blogger Libby said...

...denied....you're too picky!
LibbY!

6:41 PM

 
Blogger Shamus O'Drunkahan said...

I'm with your wife on this one.

7:42 AM

 
Blogger Jillian said...

Well that really sucks!!!!

5:37 PM

 
Anonymous Sandy said...

Hey,

I agree!
You need a good q-tip brand. Having a bad cotton part to the q-tip is like having bad sex-- it just ruins the relationship.

Sandy

10:10 PM

 
Blogger Weary Hag said...

I'm with you on the Q-tip thing. My guess is that little "Q" stands for quintessential. They try selling those cheap ass brands with multi-colored plastic wands but I'm nobody's fool. Who needs technicolor to sufficiently swab an auditory canal? Screw that. They suck.

6:05 AM

 
Blogger John said...

The morning update should have gone something like "Hey why is all my shit on the front lawn?". Reply "because you bought shitty generic qtips. eat a cock"

12:55 AM

 
Blogger Sarah said...

I think I should be grandfathered in for this new position you're hiring for.

9:35 AM

 
Blogger slcup said...

I'm all yours, Scott.

3:39 PM

 
Blogger Chika said...

*dreamy sigh* Me too. All yours that is. I detest generic Q-tips. But stick with Sarah. She's a keeper.

11:20 AM

 

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