My name is Nancy - nice to meet you

So I am basically a big wuss. I am terrified of getting shots. I went about 15 years shot free from 1990 - 2005. I always thought - I bet tetanus is not nearly as bad as getting a shot. Flu? I can take the flu - that's like a bad cold - right? Why do I need a shot to avoid that? I mean sometimes the shot gives you the flu - right? And I am not just a wimp now - I have been a wimp my whole life. When I was about 10 I got a splinter in my foot. I spent all day telling my parents to take it out - then when they got the needle out - I'd flap my arms and run away screaming. Finally, my dad just sat on me and they dug gthe splinter out.

You'd think my kids would be little Nance's too - but they are not - they are like their mom. She shoved both of them out (one of them has a head that is bigger than yours - and he was 2' 1" and 10lbs 10oz). While our second kid was still gooey - she was like, "okay, we can have another." WTF?

My kid is even more amazing. One day I walked into the bathroom while he was in the tub. He handed me something - a piece of wood - about the length of my pinky nail. "What's this bub? Where did you find this?" He lifts his foot out of the water and shows me his foot - there is a wound the size of the splinter. HOLY FUCK my dad had to sit on me - but my kid just yanks it out on his own! Like I mentioned - I went like 15 years shot free. But as a kid you get lots of shots. So my kid gets ear infections like once a week. But we never know it - because he never complains - EVER. So we end up at the doctor after he throws up! (like from the disorientation of severe middle ear inflammation). The doctor is always like, "man that looks angry" as he looks into his ear. Why is my kid an Ironman? So he had ear infections for about a month straight. We went through varying levels of drugs. Finally the doctor was like, "well we can do a series of shots - to clear it up." It was 2 shots a day for three days!!! That was 6 TIMES the number of shots I have had since Reagan was president!! So they gave him the shots - if his language was advanced enough he would have said, "bring that weak shit!" He just took it like a fucking man (not like his old man).

Well, the shots didn't work. So they had to give him tubes in his ears. At the same time he had a procedure to cut the little "fin" of skin that connects your tongue to the bottom of your mouth. His connected too far out to the tip and would impede language (and making out with chicks - something his old man IS good at). So he goes under and gets his ear drums lanced and his tongue hacked. We are braced for the worst. Expecting to need to use lots of pain medication and be on a diet of water.

He wakes up from surgery.... "I want crackers" So we start breaking up little pieces of graham cracker. He reaches over and grabs a whole cracker and shoves it in his mouth. He just mounges it down. He never mentioned the surgery or the tongue or any pain. I would have been on the couch whining for a week - minimum.

So I'm a nancy girl - and my kid is tougher than me.