I am too retarded to catch up

I was in training last week - so I couldn't blog. But even worse - I couldn't read blogs!!! Well, here is the deal. I read at a 4th grade level (Alabama 4th grade - not one of the good states). So catching up is really hard. My favorite blog is 15 Minute Lunch - I love to read it - but goddammit Johnny V. can pump out content. I did some calculations (My SAT math was 210 points higher than my verbal) and I have determined that unless Johnny V. dies - I will not be able to catch up. This is unlikely - because he is all fit and healthy and stuff and I just ate a butter slathered roll, 3 cookies and a bucket of potato cheese soup. So I am going to die and never read all of the funny shit. If you read Johnny V.'s stuff please feel free to post highlights as responses to this post. Then I will feel connected again.