3rd hand

Toren is consantly perplexed by her dog's incescant [I can't spell and I don't give a fuck] nut licking. Even when she throws objects at him - he heads back in for more ball-lapping-goodness. I know ShopDung is supposed to be the answer guy - but I got this one covered. Your dog licks his balls because he can't scratch them. See nature - in it's cruel twists of evolution has made it so your pup can't get a paw where he needs it most. So he has to go for the next best thing to scratching - that is licking. Also - for this same reason dogs can't wank it - hence all of the leg humping.

As a male of a different species - I can attest to that fact that whatever material nutbag is made out of it itches or needs adjustment 97% of the time - 97%!!!! The fact that the dog stops when the shoe hits him frankly amazes me. When I get home from work I [where I have been adjustment free for hours] I go after my bag like a circus monkey. It's like working in the leather of a new baseball glove - you just have to work it around until it feels right.

I am a strong believer in evolution. I thing that we are slowly on a biological course where males will grow a 3rd hand - somewhere in the thigh region. Think of all of the amazing things we could accomplish if we weren't roaming around the house in a wife-beater and shorts with a hand jammed down the front all the time. I bet I could cure cancer if one of my hand wasn't constantly being distracted.