Lookin' for porn in all the wrong places

When I was a kid we didn't have the Internet on all these fancy computers. Back then if you wanted porn you had to go find it - it wasn't going to just pop into your Livingroom at 1024 x 768. So from a young age I can remember several adventures for porn. I think these are in chronological order (I can't remember the specific dates however).

Kenny Smith's fort - (note name not changed - Kenny won't mind). There was an older kid that lived at the end of my street named Kenny. Kenny had this awesome tree fort - but we weren't really allowed in it (because we were much younger). At some point we must have snuck in and discovered Kenny had a Playboy!!! Holy crap - this was my first exposure to the nude female form.... and I liked it. Some people ask me, "Scott, did you become heterosexual? Or do you think you were born that way?" (A fair question). Well I don't know the answer - but man I liked what I saw!! I can remember one of the pictures clearly. A lady with a snake on her shoulders. If that lady stood in a lineup of 1,000 other women I could pick her out to this day (if she took off her top and put a snake on her shoulders - oh and if she wasn't like 65 now).

Ben Smith's dad's sock drawer - Ben Smith's (name not changed) dad had a stash of Playboys in his sock drawer. One day while over at Ben's he announced this fact and then proceeded to raid the stash. We perused quite a few hotties and didn't get caught - nice!

My dad's "dirty" magazines - As a gag gift, for his birthday, my dad's friend gave him a box that was proudly labelled "Dirty Magazines". Well it was all a big tease! They were actual nudie mags but Pete had put mud in all of the pages... get it? Dirty? Dammit Pete!!! You are wasting quality porn here!!!!

V&S magazine rack - In my town there was a store called V&S Variety. They sold penny candy and Garbage Pail Kids (awesome) [Garbage Pail Kids started selling in 1985 - so figure I am 10 at this point]. They also had a big magazine rack. In the rack were lots of comics - but also nudie-mags. Well, we were clever 10 year olds. We would pick up a comic and then put a nudie-mag inside. We could look at real naked chicks and no one knew!! Well maybe they knew and didn't care - either way - it ruled!

Playboy channel (part 1) - At some point my parents got cable. Well back in the day scrambling technology was a little lacking. So the image would be a little wobbly - but the sound was unaffected. Well - "uh uh uh ahhhh oooohh" sounds the same if the picture is wobbly or not.

Playboy channel (part 2) - Well a kid in the neighborhood, Chuck (name not changed), had taken this to the next level. At his house the cable box had an A/B button. If you pressed it really fast it descrambled the picture. Holy shit! Live nude women! I mean you'd have carple tunnel from hitting the button like 400/minute - but it was worth it.

Playboy channel (part 3) - This is the pinnacle of my childhood porn life. My friend Jack (real name) calls me and says, "GO TO 35!" I flip to channel 35. It is the Playboy channel - but for some reason there is no scrambling what-so-ever!! It is coming in clear as day. Well I kept my thumb on the channel up button (in case someone walked in) but for a glorious hour I saw uninterrupted porn!!! It was the greatest day of my life (I mean besides getting married and having kids and all of the other stuff you are supposed to say).