(I am back and we have some things to discuss. Can't... control.... anger!"

Thursday, April 21, 2005


In my post from yesterday I was talking about how the virgin Mary appears in pancakes and screen doors and stuff. So I got thinking, "how come Joseph never appears anywhere?" Then I had a more profound thought (I am *NOT* religious and I am super ignorant on this stuff - so I am left to pagan speculation) "Was Joseph even important? I mean is he worthy of God marring a perfectly good bridge support?" Let's dig deeper....

I think "Smallville" is about Superman when he was a teenager (I don't watch it so I am not sure). I think it would be cool to have a show like that - but with Jesus. Like "Jesus the Teen Years" I mean I am sure he was a really good kid - but he had to pull some stuff every once in a while.

[Joseph walks into the house]
[One of Jesus's friends is leaving with a big smile on his face - he is carrying a carafe]
[Jesus sits on the couch. Sandals up on the coffee table]
Joseph - "Who was that?"
JC - "That's one of my buddies"
Joseph - "He looked under age - you didn't turn water into wine for him... did you??"
JC - "Lay off man - he just wanted to get a quick buzz"
Joseph - "Jesus I am tired of having to constantly watch over you, the other day Mrs. Caligus said she saw you standing on the surface of her pool trying to peek into her daughter's window."
JC - "That wasn't me!"
Joseph - "JESUS! Don't you lie to me boy. I will take you over my knee!"
JC - "Lay off old man.... You're not my real dad anyway!"
(You know he had to go to that one pretty often)
[Joseph storms out]
[JC eats some Salt and Vinegar Prigles]

So I am going to hell - but this is the stuff I think about.


Blogger Sarah said...

One thing is for sure-Jesus definitely ate Salt and Vinegar Pringles. I mean he probably invented them seeing as how they taste like they came straight from heaven.

2:00 PM

Blogger Johnny Virgil said...

You left out the part about Joseph asking, "Jesus, what's that smell? Were you burning something in here?"

"I was burning FRANKENCENSE dad. THAT'S ALL. Get off my case."

ps - so..I'm no longer listed as f'ing funny? I'll have to try harder.

10:24 PM

Blogger Shamus O'Drunkahan said...

You just reminded me of the Sam Kinnison bit about the J-man. Good stuff.

8:20 AM

Blogger ARM said...

It's Ok, I'm so going to hell for laughing at this and thinking that Fox should totally pick this up.

8:43 AM

Blogger Scott said...

The "f'ing" funny was causing the line to wrap. I am anal retentive above honest. You are still f'ing funny - but you don't deserve 2 lines.

8:43 AM


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