(I am back and we have some things to discuss. Can't... control.... anger!"

Thursday, April 14, 2005

Super Size Me

The main point of this blog is to bitch about how bad people piss me off. Well I've strayed a bit from my core purpose - but something I saw this morning yanked me right back. I was watching the news and there was a report about new research shows diets high in Soy and fish can reduce the risk of heart disease. Enough okay? Enough with the fucking research - we get it. Food that tastes good and is really awesome is not good for you. Ice Cream, Big Macs, mayo, Doughnuts, cheesecake all taste totally awesome and are all really bad for you. Fish livers, bean sprouts, turnips, lima beans all taste like total shit and are great for you. Stop fucking researching it!!

See our bodies have evolved over 100's of thousands of years. Most of that time was spent struggling for survival of the species. So our genetic code and instincts tell us to find foods that will keep us alive - perhaps for a long time without another meal. So we crave foods that have a high fat content (because our Medulla or some shit tells us that we may not be able to eat again for a long time). Our Cerebellum (or something) is where we can reason out that we will probably eat again and we should have Tofu and sprouts and not eat bacon wrapped steak.

But researchers and the news have to totally shove it in our face all the time. "Coming up our report that links cigarettes to anal cancer!" Holy fucking shit! Why are people researching this still? Cigarettes kill you, Big Macs kill you - fucking move on and research something I need. Like a device that will help me remember awesome blog posts that I think up while I am in traffic - but then forget before I get to a computer. Or a giant tarp that police can deploy when they pull someone over on the highway - the tarp would hide the cop (who is out of his fucking car and isn't watching your speed at all you fucking brake-jamming-dickwad) from other cars so they wouldn't rubber-neck and basically act like total fucking imbiciles.


Blogger Johnny Virgil said...


12:00 PM

Blogger sideeyes said...

Hmmm here we are reading the new researches like these "Skin cancer increase expected, up to 20% by 2015", "Finland needs 10,000 foreign workers yearly even though we are experiencing some 8% unemployment rate"... all that. They are nothing new and surprising.. Oh then there are funny researches like "Finland is losing great amount of creative people every year"? What's up with that? Creative people suddenly become uncreative? What's being creative anyway? :D

12:16 PM

Blogger Tigerlily said...

Glad to have you back Angry Scott. I laughed so hard that I blew ginger ale out of my nose.

12:49 PM

Blogger slcup said...

I LOVE angry Scott! Brake-jamming-dickwad...classic!

4:00 PM

Blogger Sarah said...

At least your mom isn't a dietitian and doesn't forward you a link to EVERY SINGLE FUCKING NUTRITION-RELATED ARTICLE IN THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE!! Guess who finds out about all the research first? Bruce, Diane and yours truly. And every email starts out with a little note from Pam and it usually says, "Good article!"

God I love my mother and would lay down and die for her every single day of the week, but I will punch her in the jaw I'm not even kidding.

5:23 PM

Blogger John said...

I will step on her foot and break it. I would do that for you.

11:41 PM

Blogger Johnny Virgil said...

After John breaks it, I will poke at it repeatedly with a phillips head screwdriver. I would do that for me. I can't help myself.

6:45 AM

Blogger ARM said...

Thank you for posting this. I agree...I'm tired of all the new bad things that happen to us when we do something we like.

6:39 PM


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