Dolphins and Camels and Monkeys, oh my!

Here's something that pisses me off - and I can't really explain why. I'll be watching TV or at the zoo or something and I'll say, "Oh look at the camel!" Then some asshole always feels the urge to say, "Actually that is a dromedary - you can tell by the number of humps." What? Fuck you - you useless fact spouting moron.

On to the primate area. [me] "Oh sweet, check out that monkey!!" [them] "Actually that is a chimpanzee not a monkey you can tell [gurgling noise as I fucking choke them]" Who is this distinction helping? I mean really - who the fuck is benefiting from the distinction. Will there be a day that I am stuck on a rope bridge and someone will yell, "Go to the chimpanzee NOT the monkey - the monkey has rabies!" I mean why is the person correcting me? Have I offended the monkey's sensibilities? I mean they are pretty refined - with the poop flinging and all. Thanks, I'd hate to insult the little guy as his bare red ass runs around in a cage.

Finally we make it to the dolphins. People love dolphins. Dolphins piss me off for this very reason. Now I know that dolphins are not fish - but I like to say it. [me] "Dolphins are the coolest fish ever!!" [them] "Actually, dolphins are mammals because they breathe air and have live you and .... (goes on for 5 minutes) and they are also extremely intelligent. They have so many brain folds that (5 more minutes) and rescue diving teams too!!!" [me] "Um, if they are so smart why do they end up in tuna fish? I mean I am not complaining - because they are delicious"