(I am back and we have some things to discuss. Can't... control.... anger!"

Monday, September 19, 2005

Lesbian Inseminator

So at work I had an Intern (he went back to school today)- and it was totally awesome - I highly recommend them. I have heard some people say, "Excuse me - I couldn't help but overhear you were considering getting an intern. That is a terrible idea - if you have a few minutes I can tell you why. They make faces that are innappropriate in society. And they fling their poop at people in a festive manner!" Those are the reasons I want an intern!! I miss Derek - he has been gone one day - but he was awesome to work with.

One of our last converstations happened at a bar. He was belting out some Melissa Ethridge (as it played on the radio). I knew she was a lesbian but forgot how she got knocked up. Apparently, David Crosby did the work. I assumed that he delivered the payload in the standard fashion - but their was speculation about a sample cup and some other "funny business". At this point I make a suggestion - the best career advice a boss can give to his intern. "You should become a lesbian inseminator." How awesome is that job? No nagging - no judging your package (it is bigger than what they are used to). You get to bang chicks non-stop and don't have to buy them dinner. Man this is fantastic. I might quit my job and do it. God speed Derek - I hope this letter finds you and finds you well my friend (by well I mean banging totally hot lesbians).

2 Comments:

Blogger Sarah said...

I miss Derek. :( He would be a good lesbian inseminator. I mean, judging by the great work he produced for your team, and by that I mean googling weird stuff.

12:26 AM

 
Blogger Derek Bronish said...

Hey, sorry it's taken a while, but I swear I will deliver a going away email package that will totally obliterate last year's Beatles rip-off. Believe me, it's going to be sweet. And no it's not a photo of me shitting under my desk.

p.s. Has anything gone missing around the office? Maybe you'll just have to wait and see. Mwahahaha!!!

2:17 PM

 

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