100% fillers
If you have the previous Ford Mustang how pissed must you be? I mean the new one is totally awesome.
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I was at a kids park and saw a guy miniture golfing by himself! WTF? Seriously, suicide is probably your only out. I cannot imagine wanting to go to mini golf by myself.
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I think those solar powered path lights, that you can get for your walk, are okay... but why are they blue? It looks stupid.
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If you are trapped a convention center and you want to be rescued here are some ways to do it. If you want to be rescued by :
Reporters
Tell them you found Natalie Holloway - or you want to confess to her killing. They will flock to you.
Republicans
Tell them that the power loss is going to kill Terry Schiavo - they will bring all of congress to your doorstep.
Democrats
Tell them you are going to deport Alien Gonzales (or whatever his name was). They will be flocking to you.
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MythBusters is the greatest show ever. If you aren't watching it - you are either gay or don't have cable.
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Deck stain is 25$/gallon. Which is 8 times the cost of gasoline. Please tell some reporters and the I-team.
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10 Comments:
Supplies flying out of Lantana airport
Cellphone attached to her belt buckle, toddler clinging to her leg, Tara Pearl stood on Lantana airport's tarmac and declared she would scrounge up bigger wings.
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10:27 AM
Tara Pearl can suck me.
12:00 PM
"I was at a kids park and saw a guy miniture golfing by himself! WTF? Seriously, suicide is probably your only out. I cannot imagine wanting to go to mini golf by myself."
This is horrible, but pop dribbled out of my mouth I was laughing so hard.
11:38 PM
I am gay BECAUSE I don't have cable. But I discovered mythbusters when I was in the hospital giving birth (because even the effin' hospital has cable!) and I heart it so much. I ws annoyed that I kept getting visitors because then I'd have to pay attention to them instead of the man with the funny mustache. They kept advertising Shark Week while I was in the hospital, and I was actually hoping I would develop some strange infection so I could stay there another week and be able to watch it. Even though I have an irrational fear of sharks. Did I miss anything cool?
10:23 AM
this is one of your best posts ever. Also your spelling and grammar issues know no bounds.
1:46 PM
Shark week was awesome. They showed this one underwater camera shot of a bullshark ripping this guy's calf off when he was standing in just thigh high water. It was effing awesome!!
3:30 PM
that guy was probably a child molester and you shoulda kicked his puny ass
10:07 PM
Beck, a fear of sharks is not irrational. Did you not read the comment about watching some guy's calf get ripped off while standing in water up to this thighs. Yeah-completely understandable. In fact, I judge those people who are NOT afraid of sharks.
9:59 AM
Sharks are scary but tasty.
3:29 PM
OMG are you funny! Your posts have me rolling, although I don't normally make comments.
I love mythbusters but I'm not too fond of Mustangs, unless they're the older models. The new ones look like they're from outer space.
Your spelling wasn't too bad this time.
2:30 PM
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