(I am back and we have some things to discuss. Can't... control.... anger!"

Thursday, July 21, 2005

clip... clip.... clip

I am not sure what the opposite of a fetish is. Like an anti-fetish, something you are totally obsessed against. A regular fetish is like wanting a girl to dress up like a librarian... with those horn rimmed glasses and her hair up in a bun... held in place with a pencil... Oh that book is on the top shelf you have to reach for it... oh now you need the pencil.... you pull it out of your hair and sway the full length of it back... and forth.... Holy shit where was I? Oh right anti-fetish.

I hate all things nails. If you say the word cuticle out loud I will cringe visibly. If you click your long-ass finger nails together I will pretty much want to puke. This leads to my question. Why in the name of all that is holy do you have to cut your nails at work? Holy f'ing shit - that is not right. I can work all day, go have a drink, go play volleyball, go home and put my kid to sleep, work on my basement for 2 hours and still have time (30 seconds) to cut my nails AT HOME!!!

If you cut your nails at work, well we pretty much aren't friends anymore - there I said it. I was at a lecture the other day and a guy in the audience busted out the clippers and went to town! There were 30 people in the rather intimate room and this dick-moe decides its personal grooming time. I spun and stared at him - but it had no effect - he was a clueless public nail clipping a-rod.


Blogger Sarah said...

While I agree that cliping your nails at work is totally gross and unnecessary, I still think you have issues. If you get a call in the middle of the night, and all you hear on the other end is nails clicking together, it's not me I swear.

2:15 PM

Blogger slcup said...

I'm right there with ya. We've got a guy that routinely clips the nails in meetings. Once I got beened right in the eye with a clipping. Seriously, how gross is that? There used to be a woman that would clip her...wait for it...TOE NAILS in the office. WHAT?!

2:57 PM

Blogger Other Brother said...

My boss does that shit all the time. Just bite the damn things. At least that doesn't make noise.

4:16 PM

Blogger Carly said...

No, I can top that. Erik used to work for a woman who picked her acrylic nails off DURING MEETINGS. It was really disgusting.

6:33 PM

Blogger Johnny Virgil said...

Holy crap, I'm glad it's not just me. There was a woman in the next aisle over that clipped her nails so often that she has to be down to bone by now.

8:02 PM

Blogger KOM said...

My 8th grade teacher clipped his toenails during tests. My essay answers would always be something like "Jefferson is important because... STOP STOP STOP!"

I don't know how I made it to Highschool.

1:07 AM

Blogger Oh, that girl. said...

I COMPLETELY AGREE> The worst is when they take their shoes and socks off and clip their toe nails too! EEEWWWW! I HATE OTHER PEOPLES FEET! And the thought that I am walking around on the carpet, while they are dropping little pices of nasty encrusted toe and finger nail clippings. That and flossing in bed. SHOULD BE ILLEGAL!

9:24 AM

Blogger Mordja said...

It could be worse - they could actually eat the toenails/fingernails they've clipped off in front of you (or on you).

I wouldn't have said that except I work with a guy who has eaten his nails after chewing them off of his fingers, and since I am scarred for life you might as well be too.

5:25 PM

Blogger Johnny Virgil said...

Jesus. Nothing like having a bundle of fishhooks traveling through your intestines.

8:44 PM

Blogger John said...

I have nail clippers in my desk. Usually they're for a hangnail or something but I have to say ever since the first time I used them and Scott cried out like a preteen girl "THAT's NOT OK!!" I use them a lot more often than I normally would.

11:57 PM

Blogger lilly05 said...

I have empathy for your anti-fetish, but I have seen things that would make you puke outright! (I'm an RN) I was sitting in trafic yesterday and watched a woman in the car next to me mine for nose gold with the longest most wicked acrylic nails I have ever seen. She was going after the motherlode with such zeal, I was half expecting to see her pop a vessel. This is a much nastier habit in my opinion, but I'm sure that I would have been more grossed out if she had been picking her ass instead. It can always be worse!

3:39 AM

Blogger Kris said...

Min Pin Momma, I nearly ran out of the room when you brought up toe clipping.

Less gross, but equally rude, I went to a presentation once where a woman pulled out her knitting and proceeded to work on a kid's blanket for 90 minutes . . . WTF?

4:17 PM

Blogger Weary Hag said...

Truly, there oughta be a law. Sitting in a donut shop years ago and some babe pulls out her clippers at a table behind mine. Snip snip snip. I wanted to clock her but held back because my tea was almost finished. Then it happened... I looked down into my cup and there was the half-moon sliver swimming in my tea! I got up and placed the cup exactly in front of this ditz's face on her table and marched out of the place.
Gross bitch.

8:17 AM

Blogger Rob Seifert said...

Thanks to my mother, it has never occured to me to clip my nails in public and thankfully yet again, there are probably a good many other things I don't think to do as a result of her training. Thank you however, for the reminder that I needed to trim mine - it was most satisfying.


6:14 PM

Blogger KMR said...

I hate it so much that I have to leave the room if someone is clipping their nails. I don't allow family members to do it in my presence. I don't ever use one on my own nails. That's what emery boards are for.

I DO however, like to click my nails on my desk.

2:45 PM

Blogger Maria said...

There's a guy who routinely does this in church. It's the most digusting and distracting thing I've ever seen. Jesus and nail clippings don't mix.

My previous neighbor used to clip his toenails and then pile them up by my car, just over the yellow line on my side of the carport. I seriously considered murdering him.

1:06 PM


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