(I am back and we have some things to discuss. Can't... control.... anger!"

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

Some shit I don't want you to know (part 2)

I don't wash my legs. I mean I wash "between" them and I wash my feet - but I don't wash my legs proper. If they are dirty I will, wash them but I figure they spend all day under my pants - it's clean in there - my legs don't sweat. Also - the soap from the upper parts sorta rolls by that area - I'm thinkin' that will cover it.

I haven't combed or brushed my hair since high school. In the morning I just dry it with a towel - (a guy using a blow dryer better be shrink wrapping something) then I whip some gel in my hair and sort of moosh it around. I'm married - I don't give a shit what anyone thinks anymore.

Not really hygene - but I don't iron. Ironing is fucking stupid and pointless. Again - I am married and don't care what people think, plus I am an I.T. dork and wrinkles are what people expect. "I.T. guys" in suits are fucking salesmen - don't be fooled. If a guy shows up in jeans and a StarTrek Convention TShirt - that's yer boy.

I sleep as God intended. Draw your own conclusions.

I am so fucking obsessed with punctuality it is ridiculous. For example someone will say, well lets try to show up *around* 4pm. Suddenly it is my life's mission to be there before 4pm. See to me - 4pm would be late. I need to plan, what if there is traffic, or an accident - or a suicide? You have to plan. Sometimes I will go to the airport 2 days early - just to be sure.

I can type fast but I don't use the method they teach you in school. I just have fingers randomly flying all over the keyboard. (naked - that's how I sleep - in case you were wondering... from before)

Chocolate Chips - after dinner I always eat a handful of chocolate chips - not sure when this started. But it is a nice pallet cleanser - and it will probably kill me slower than cigarettes (but maybe not)

Video Games - I see no time in my life I won't be playing games. I have been playing games since I could sit up (Atari 2600) and I never want to stop. Killing shit is so totally underrated by adults.


Blogger Shamus O'Drunkahan said...

By some adults, maybe.

8:33 PM

Blogger Charlotte said...

I sometimes try sleeping naked, but between my husband and my great dane... well, let's just say some things are better left unsquished.

3:30 AM

Blogger Alisa said...

Hmmm... I interview between 1 and 4 IT types a day. Thanks to your blog I will be adding the following questions to the end of the interview:

1. How many Star Trek t-shirts do you own?

2. How many of those were purchased at an actual convention for Trekkies?

3. Do you own a book on how to speak Klingon?

I think, that if they answer those right, I will be able to properly assess their technical abilities without utilizing a brainbench test.

Thank you thank you!

6:53 AM

Blogger Johnny Virgil said...

My most favorite Star Trek shirt is one I bought in Montreal about 12 years ago. It's a picture of Spock at his console, with a thought bubble over his head that says "Jim...I Love You."

6:58 AM

Blogger Erik with a K said...

Thanks for the visual man, I really appreciate it.

I shall now pay you back every day by placing a song in your head to torment you for hours at a time....

He was the first punk ever to set foot on this earth.
He was a genius from the day of his birth.
He could play the piano like a ring and a bell
And ev'rybody screamed:
Come on, rock me Amadeus.
He was a superstar, he was dynamite and whatever he did (it)
Seemed to be alright.

And he drank (and) he cursed and he fooled around
But when the women would shout:
Rock me Amadeus,
Amadeus, Amadeus, Amadeus,
Amadeus, Amadeus, Amadeus,
Oh oh oh Amadeus.
With a bottle of wine in one hand and a woman in the other
'Cause he was a ladies man
He never stopped to worry what the next day would bring
Because the girls would sing:
Rock me Amadeus,
His mind was on rock and roll and having fun
Because he lived so fast he had to die so young.
But he made his mark in history.
Still ev'rybody says:
Rock me Amadeus

7:21 AM

Blogger Scott said...

It is soooo ironic you chose Amadeus. For some reason that tune was in my head when Bush announced "John Negroponte" as the new Intelligence Chief. So I had a little ditty but I replaced Amadeus with Negroponte. [I don't explain em I just write em]

Still ev'rybody says:
Rock me Negroponte!!!!

7:46 AM

Blogger Tigerlily said...

I too have the addiction of the chocolate chips. I like to eat only two at a time and roll them around til they get all melty. Melty, there's a big girl word. I am a leg washing freak! I was just bitching to the little man friend last night about how I thought it odd that people NEVER wash their legs proper. Strange, you mentioned it.

9:04 AM

Blogger Scott said...

I mean besides publicly talking about my bag - I am pretty normal. And I don't wash em.

9:16 AM

Blogger slcup said...

1. i sleep naked and it's the greatest thing in the world
2. i, too, can only eat chocolate chips in even numbers (m&ms, skittles, anything like that has to be in even numbers)
3. the tardiness thing - are you sure weren't not supposed to be married to each other?

urban princess

12:13 PM

Blogger Scott said...

Do you segregate? I move all of the M&Ms , Skittles etc into piles. Then I eat the crappy flavors first (M&Ms don't have flavors - I just pick some color and do away with it).

Well endowed - punctual - what's not to like?? I see nothing slowing this down... Oh, the wife I already have and the 2 time zones. DAMMIT!! Stupid current wife - always ruining everything!

2:46 PM

Blogger slcup said...

Oh, I'm all about the color segregation of bite-sized candies. Maybe we can just have a steamy on-line affair via blog and noone will know...oh, wait, others read this. Crap!
urban princess

3:37 PM

Blogger Sara Z. said...

I see no reason for washing the legs themselves. It will only prematurely dry your skin, I always say.

When I was a kid, I always kept a bag of chocolate chips in the little piggy-bank safe by my bed.
As I aged, I did not graduated to hiding other things in there, say pot or birth control pills. Just chocolate.

4:03 PM

Blogger John said...

I think your reason for not washing your legs is flawed. My torso and arms are covered by a shirt all day and rarely sweat unless I go up 2 steps. my head doesn't sweat much. by your logic I can probably just wash my buttocks, cock'n'balls and hands and be done with it.

9:24 PM

Blogger slcup said...

hehe you said "cock'n'balls"

10:37 AM


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