The Media + Unglamorous death = nothing

So all day Monday and part of the day Tuesday I looked for stories about the guy that jumped off the bridge (read 2 posts down to catch up). Nothing. NOTHING. I watch a guy pitch himself off a 100 foot bridge and he doesn't get a mention - I figured at least the fact he fucked up traffic for a few minutes would get him some press. Nothing!!

So I called the Plain Dealer (Cleveland's News Paper) and asked the news desk about it. They had only a little info, "The Coast Guard got a call that a man had fallen through the ice [understatement of the year in my opinion]. They had called off the search after a time." So I give the guy all of the details. He says they will probably run it in the Wednesday paper. He calls back 15 minutes later and tells me that they don't run suicide stories, "because if someone is on the edge, the fact that they will get media exposure may prod them into action." Okay - fair enough, I didn't need to be in the paper - just validation that I wasn't crazy.

This all sat well with me until this morning. Something on the radio about a suicide bombing. Then I went totally berzerk! This hapless fuck dives off a bridge and hurts no one [well other than the obvious - him] and they don't want it in the news. However, strap a bomb to yourself and you can guarantee Dan Rather will be talking about you tonight. Better yet, kill a bunch of people in you school, Brokaw's jaw will hurt from saying Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold over and over. OR shoot up random people in Washington D.C. and don't kill yourself - you will get free press galore and every station in the world will say John Allen Muhammad and Lee Boyd Malvo. Instant ticket to fame. Now for this ticket - you need to not hurt yourself at all and shoot LOTS of innocent people. The media has no issue with, "because if someone is on the edge, the fact that they will get media exposure may prod them into action." If the action is you fucking assassinating other people.

Oh, or fucking get a black tarp and hang it up. Rip up a table cloth and wear it as a mask. Kidnap someone and point an AK at their head. This is guaranteed to get you on the news. (You can optionally behead the person). Let's see.... If the media didn't run stories on kidnappings then their psychological value would be lost -but they do. You see where I'm going with the whole "prod them into action thing"? God dammit I will fucking .... this is a fuck!

I am so annoyed right now.