Happy Holidays

I totally stole this from another web site - but it doesn't make it less funny.

You want to break up with your girlfriend (or boyfriend) before Valentine's Day but you are a coward. What do you do?

1. Before the holiday, hint you have a fantastic Valentine's day gift you're working on but it's a big secret. When she's snooping around, make sure she stumbles upon the stack of letters you've written to the producers of "Extreme Makeover," begging them to do something with the wretched, stank-ho you've been dating.

2. Say things like "I would never hurt you," then hurt her immediately afterwards. Repeat.