(I am back and we have some things to discuss. Can't... control.... anger!"

Monday, August 08, 2005

Has anyone seen my ass around here?

I don't dance, as Seinfeld said, "Oh, because it's stupid." My wife really likes to dance - she is good at it and has lots of fun. At our wedding she mostly danced with my best man - he likes to dance too - so it worked out for everyone. Sure I slow danced with her (by which I mean I shuffled my feet a little). I danced to "our" song, "Love of a Lifetime" by FireHouse. Go ahead - make fun of it Sarah - I'll fucking cut you.

Anyway, I don't dance - because I look like a 6'4" douche writhing in pain. Well this weekend I was the best man at my friends wedding. A few weeks ago I attended a different wedding, and no one danced. Well that shit wasn't happening on my watch. So on the first chord of "Disco Fever" (or something - I don't listen to dance music) I charged out on the floor and got jiggy!! I flipped my collar up and was thrusting one finger in the air violently. I was the *only* person on the dance floor - but I didn't care. (I know pictures of this exist - FYI). Anyway, I danced my ass off - at least 80% of the night I was out there do the "weed whacker" and the "row boat" (which maybe I got confused - because I think maybe they were saying do the "robot" but I don't care). I was like Napoleon Dynamite doin' my thing.

That's right - step off sucka MC's.


Blogger Rob Seifert said...

Um, you go ... "G" *chuckling and shaking my head*


2:06 PM

Blogger slcup said...

I love Firehouse! What a hot singer with a big poofy perm and tiny spandex pants. Hot.

2:57 PM

Blogger Sarah said...

Why in God's name would I make fun of you for Firehouse being your song? Do you not know me at all? Have you never witnessed my obsession with hair bands? I think at my wedding my husband and I will dance to "Photograph" by Def Leppard because it's my imaginary wedding, and I can do whatever I want. Bitches.

I loooooove watching you dance. It is hard to look away.

4:08 PM

Blogger Oh, that girl. said...

I so wish I could have been there to see that! Rock on Homey! Play that funky music white boy!

4:38 PM

Blogger Beck said...

Holy poop Scott, you are my new boyfriend. I think dancing is stupid, too! If only because I am so un-good at it. I look like a retard that OD'ed on Vivarin. I wanted to be a cheerleader in high school-- coulda been, what with the gymnasstics background-- but I couldn't dance. So no miniskirts and football players for me. I applaud your bravery, and your chivalry for saving your friends wedding. You go, girl. Er, Boy.

1:50 AM

Blogger KOM said...

I've danced 3 times in my life - junior and senior prom, and my wedding.

Now all of my friends are getting engaged, and my only thought is "what's an untalented white-boy to do?"

I get stomach pains from just thinking about non-slow dances.

2:10 AM


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