(I am back and we have some things to discuss. Can't... control.... anger!"

Monday, February 28, 2005

How to get a man

I have no idea how to get a woman. I asked mine to the prom and that worked out - but I have no idea how to approach an adult woman. However, I am a guy - and I know what we like. If you are a woman - put on some glasses (like horn-rimmed librarian type ones). Ummm and like a grey suit (a feminine one). Okay - then have your hair pulled up in a bun in the back and hold it with pencils. At any time you want a guy just pull the pencil out and move your head back and forth a few times to unleash the fullness of your hair.

That's it. Guys are defenseless to this tactic. You will attract all males in a 2 mile radius. So be careful with this new superpower. I know guys are reading this right now saying - yep that would work.


Blogger John said...

yep that would work

10:49 AM

Blogger Sarah said...

What about if I wear a leather biker outfit with a helmet, and I pull up on my motorcycle, and you guys all think I'm a guy, but then I pull off my helmet and I move my head back and forth a few times to unleash the fullness of my hair, and you guys can't believe it--the biker is a girl with full hair! Is that hot?

11:16 AM

Blogger Catching up said...

I think that's hot. And how about, if you show up like in a full overall type welder's outfit and welder's mask, and you unzip the overalls and you're in this tight little number, and off comes the mask, and the fullness of the hair is unleashed. Howzat? So many possibilities.

1:23 PM

Blogger Scott said...

Both of those would work too. So I guess you two don't need my help. Sarah - I think it is time to get a motorcycle - or a welding helmet.

4:22 PM

Blogger Hugh Janus said...

It's all very hot. Overdressed, underdressed, granny panties, zippers, snaps, lace, velcro, burlap. It's all good.

All the extra helmet removal and hair shaking and welder's masquerading is just icing on the cake.

4:56 PM

Blogger slcup said...

I've always just used what God gave me: my spectacular rack. The possibilities are endless if you combine a low-cut top, dropping something on the floor and having to bend over to pick said object up. If it's cold, too? Oh man, watch out.
urban princess

5:07 PM

Blogger danielle said...

so wait, we basically need to appear to be a guy, but then all of a sudden be a hot girl with long flowing hair in a helmet and that will do it. you're sort of telling me that guys sort of like men. i think i'm applying a math theorm here but i can't be 100% sure.

5:38 PM

Blogger Sarah said...

U.P. Sarah - yes. Always, always use the power of the rack if you can. Danielle, use your ass. It's nice.

5:46 PM

Blogger kelly said...

Chicks telling other chicks they are hot (when they are hot) doesn't hurt a bit either.



5:59 PM


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