(I am back and we have some things to discuss. Can't... control.... anger!"

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

New Years ReVolution

Right - no resolutions - I am starting the revolution. First a mini tangent. 2005 seemed exactly the same length as 2004, 2003, 2002. Yes I *can* fucking believe it - no it did not fly by - so shut that shit up right now. "Oh this year flew by - can you believe it?" Fuck you!

Okay - on to my revolution. I decided to take the staple "lose weight" resolution. I looked on some web site and found out my BMI (Body Mass Index). So this thing says I am fat. According to this thing I need to lose 38 lbs to be "Normal Weight". I am sorry if I offend anyone - but FUCK THAT! 38 lbs? Are you effing serious? Okay - so that shit ain't gonna happen. I decided to go with plan (b). According to this thing if I was 6'11" (and kept my current weight I'd be Normal). Now we're talking. I can do this. I am going to need your support - but I am hoping to gain 7" this year. It is going to take determination - but I think I can do it.

Please wish me luck and give me your support and as I attempt to cheat myself out of being a fat boy.

8 Comments:

Blogger slcup said...

When you say gain 7", do you mean in height or in your crotchal region?

3:35 PM

 
Blogger miriam said...

That'll work.

5:39 PM

 
Blogger John said...

I can't believe 2005 is over already. Man I'm going to be writing 2005 on everything for like another month or something probably. I'm hoping to gain 7" too. That will give me like a full 8".

9:18 PM

 
Blogger John said...

okay 7 1/2" jerk

9:18 PM

 
Blogger Sarah said...

If you gain 7" you might get close to being half the size of Special Dark. If the rumors are true, that is. And by rumors I mean horrible stereotypes.

9:55 PM

 
Blogger Beck said...

I am going to try to say "crotchal" to 5 people tomorrow. You rule, Princess!

Scott, start off with some platform shoes. You can even get some with dead goldfish in 'em, ala Disco Stu. And then add a 'fro. That will probably get you your 7". (Unless we're still talking about your crotchal region-- then you seriously need a waxing. Ew.)

11:01 PM

 
Blogger Sylvana said...

7", that's a tall order.

8:21 PM

 
Blogger Jacq said...

Yea, Scott. Didn't 2005 just FLY by???? Ha ha. How many people have said that to you so far?

8:58 AM

 

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