(I am back and we have some things to discuss. Can't... control.... anger!"

Thursday, March 17, 2005

Back in the Saddle

I'm back baby! I know I could give dozens of excuses for not posting (illness, training etc) but none of them are true. You'll notice that Toren hadn't posted for quite while too. That is because we have totally been making out for like a week straight. I cannot resist her southern charms. I have come up for air and it is time to post something.

The Hungover Interview ---
I went to college in Buffalo (University at Buffalo - who got totally fucked by the NCAA selection commitee). In Buffalo every Thursday night they had $5 all you can drink at Molly's Pub. $5!!!! So needless to say we would get shithoused regularly. Well one week in particular I had a phone interview with Gilbarco (they make gas pumps - glamorous I know). Well Marc, Choach and I got lit off our asses and then stumbled to Choach's place to crash. I woke up at about 7am in a total panic. My interview was in 1 hour. I had to get a ride back to my place - but I felt sick as a dog. The sun light made me wanna puke - as did Choach's irradic driving. I got to my place at about 7:55am - not enough time to shower or do anything.

My head was pounding and I wanted to puke. I went into my room in the basement (which was very dark) and waited for the call. Finally the dude calls. He asks me some prelim questions and then says what the job is. They need C programmers for their new gas pumps.... What ... did I hear that right - God I must be more fucked up than I thought. I just say, "uh huh" But I am thinking "it just dispenses gas... not a lot of programming needed." Oh and I am pretty sure I have to puke - so I am trying to wrap things up. But not southern Charlie he wants to spin a yarn about gas pumps of the future. "See the pumps'll have these screens that people'll interact with - ya know - order food from inside - tell how much cream and sugar - and the like" [I want to die, oh don't puke, please don't puke...]

Mind you - he has asked me zero technical questions. So after telling me all of the fabulous things I will be doing at the gas pump in the future he fires into some questions. Now, fortunately for me - some alcohol enhanced BS center in my brain fired up at full speed. I was answering questions WHILE looking up more info in different text books I had. So I would softball the answer for a bit and then find info in a book and give him a more complete answer. This was seamless and the dude must have thought I was a fucking rock star. I was hoping he'd be so impressed we'd cut things short. I gave about 10 solid answers in a row - but I needed to hit the shower to extinguish this monster f'ing headache I had.

I could sense things were wrapping up so I grabbed a towel and bathroom stuff and headed up there. I was sitting in the darken bathroom - contimplating turning the shower on and he is still going on about the fucking wonders of gas pumps. Oh, shit I am going to puke. I flip the lid up and figure out how to get the phone muted for impact. I also contimplate hanging up on him and puking while he is calling back, "yeah weird - our phone has been doing that a lot lately..." It is go time and spanky is still chatting away. I am "uh huh"ing my ass off. Finally, he says "Do you have any other questions for me?" I say no - and praise the lord the call ends. I dive into the shower and curl into the fetal position. Fortunately, the shower takes care of the headache and the puking sensation.

Gilbarco called back later in the week - they offered to fly me down to S.C. for a followup. I declined - I had partying to do and I couldn't be bothered with travelling to Gas Pump central.


Blogger Tigerlily said...

There you go, blowin up our spot! That is the last time I let you out of the gun safe!

3:02 PM

Blogger Shamus O'Drunkahan said...

I could feel your pain. Nice writing.

And on a totally separate subject, sorry to hear the news. I've worked with/for very few people I respected as much as I did Brett. Even more so after he rode the Hulk 3 times in a row with me back in JAN. Twice in the front. Dude.

9:27 PM

Blogger Sarah said...

I have never interviewed hungover, but I did sing at church hungover once. I had all the same sensations as you-especially the overpowering urge to throw up. It was like a nightmare. And it wasn't like I was singing with a choir so I could drop out. Oh no-it was the Sarah show, baby. All solos. Renee and Diane just sat there staring at me and laughing and waiting for me to puke. Good times.

8:55 AM

Blogger John said...

I took my ACT with a massive hangover. In retrospect I probably didn't drink that much the night before but it's the first hangover I think I ever experienced. I rocked the ACT and that really set my path in life of drinking rather than studying anytime those were my 2 options.

10:17 AM


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