Back in the Saddle

I'm back baby! I know I could give dozens of excuses for not posting (illness, training etc) but none of them are true. You'll notice that Toren hadn't posted for quite while too. That is because we have totally been making out for like a week straight. I cannot resist her southern charms. I have come up for air and it is time to post something.

The Hungover Interview ---
I went to college in Buffalo (University at Buffalo - who got totally fucked by the NCAA selection commitee). In Buffalo every Thursday night they had $5 all you can drink at Molly's Pub. $5!!!! So needless to say we would get shithoused regularly. Well one week in particular I had a phone interview with Gilbarco (they make gas pumps - glamorous I know). Well Marc, Choach and I got lit off our asses and then stumbled to Choach's place to crash. I woke up at about 7am in a total panic. My interview was in 1 hour. I had to get a ride back to my place - but I felt sick as a dog. The sun light made me wanna puke - as did Choach's irradic driving. I got to my place at about 7:55am - not enough time to shower or do anything.

My head was pounding and I wanted to puke. I went into my room in the basement (which was very dark) and waited for the call. Finally the dude calls. He asks me some prelim questions and then says what the job is. They need C programmers for their new gas pumps.... What ... did I hear that right - God I must be more fucked up than I thought. I just say, "uh huh" But I am thinking "it just dispenses gas... not a lot of programming needed." Oh and I am pretty sure I have to puke - so I am trying to wrap things up. But not southern Charlie he wants to spin a yarn about gas pumps of the future. "See the pumps'll have these screens that people'll interact with - ya know - order food from inside - tell how much cream and sugar - and the like" [I want to die, oh don't puke, please don't puke...]

Mind you - he has asked me zero technical questions. So after telling me all of the fabulous things I will be doing at the gas pump in the future he fires into some questions. Now, fortunately for me - some alcohol enhanced BS center in my brain fired up at full speed. I was answering questions WHILE looking up more info in different text books I had. So I would softball the answer for a bit and then find info in a book and give him a more complete answer. This was seamless and the dude must have thought I was a fucking rock star. I was hoping he'd be so impressed we'd cut things short. I gave about 10 solid answers in a row - but I needed to hit the shower to extinguish this monster f'ing headache I had.

I could sense things were wrapping up so I grabbed a towel and bathroom stuff and headed up there. I was sitting in the darken bathroom - contimplating turning the shower on and he is still going on about the fucking wonders of gas pumps. Oh, shit I am going to puke. I flip the lid up and figure out how to get the phone muted for impact. I also contimplate hanging up on him and puking while he is calling back, "yeah weird - our phone has been doing that a lot lately..." It is go time and spanky is still chatting away. I am "uh huh"ing my ass off. Finally, he says "Do you have any other questions for me?" I say no - and praise the lord the call ends. I dive into the shower and curl into the fetal position. Fortunately, the shower takes care of the headache and the puking sensation.

Gilbarco called back later in the week - they offered to fly me down to S.C. for a followup. I declined - I had partying to do and I couldn't be bothered with travelling to Gas Pump central.