Things *I* do that piss people off

[over talking]

Okay - here is a tip, unless you have a LOT of time to invest don't ask me what happened in xx show last night. I have been known to tell the plot of a 30 minute Seinfeld episode for 45 minutes. I realize that sounds impossible - but trust me - I can do it. John thinks that it has to do with the whole picture = 1,000 words thing. So I need to tell 1,000 words per frame of the show or something. I was trying to catch Sarah (she makes it in about 50% of my posts because I am obsessed with her) up on the first 4 hours of 24 and it took like my whole life. I am unable to edit or abridge my description - I am forced to give every detail no matter how useless. It makes John want to end his own life. I just can't stop myself.

[under talking]

Do not call me on the phone. You will immediately think I am pissed at you - and you'd be right. I fucking hate being on the phone and I want off - FAST! So I will just not talk or respond - I just sort of grunt. All of my friends have realized that after about 45 seconds I am done so I get this, "Ummm... okay so I guess that's it for you, we almost got a full minute there. Thanks. Talk to you later." Seriously - the phone sucks and I suck at it. Don't call me - just send me Email. Email is the greatest invention in the world and the phone sucks it.