(I am back and we have some things to discuss. Can't... control.... anger!"

Thursday, January 06, 2005

Great - I'm a "big tool"

Everything makes me so mad. I got the idea for my blog because every other person I know is doing it. I was going to post about idiots trying to drive etc. But I have some other stuff that just jumped to the top of the list.

Let's get this out there right in post number 1 - I am a native English speaker - but I cannot spell or use grammar for shit. So if you are going to have a problem with that it is time to go. Number 2 - this thingy on the blog allows me to change the time - I will do this for most posts to obscure the fact that I am doing this instead of work - which I am getting paid for right now.

Here are 2 things that pissed me off recently.
(1) I am finishing my own basement. It is really fun and I like to learn to use tools and not be a totally useless piece of crap I.T. person. Last night I spent a couple of hours drywalling and running some electrical - so that I have flourecent lighting under my stairs.
I get it all buttoned up and then flip the switch. NADA. Fuck you flourecent lights. I messed around for a while and one went on. One is DOA or some shit- so I was pretty happy about that. I realized some little kid in China that got paid a bowl of rice probably put some scrazit in the wrong spot - now I have to go to Home Depot and return it - but first I have to take it out of the wall. Thanks - nice fucking quality control Ping - no rice for YOU!

(2) blogspot.com - I wanted to be t-rex.blogspot.com - or something similar. See I am 240 lbs and have some really sweet calf muscles. But my arms are weak and useless and girls can beat me in arm wrestling - so TRex is a cool self-depricating name that I have. But it was taken - so were the 1.2 million variations I tried. then I tried about 40 other sweet names - all taken. Goddamn Internet! So I typed in bigtool.blogspot.com to be funny - and it took it. Great! I am the Big Tool.


Blogger Erik with a K said...

I was going to congratulate you on your choice of blog names, but now i see it was a "settle"...as was mine. Why some 8 year old spewing cheerios through his nose gets to be junglejuice.blogspot.com? Fuckers!

8:58 AM

Blogger Sarah said...

You are not a big tool, but you do have weak arms. You should've named this: 3inchverticalleap.blogspot.com. Awesome. Can I just say to all the Clevelanders out there that if you can't drive the speed limit in the rain, you should get the hell off the road? That's right just pull off to the side and let me pass you so it won't take me 45 minutes to go 12 miles like it did today because apparently winter comes as a surprise to you every year even though you've lived in the Snow Belt since 1971.

Peace out.

9:22 AM

Blogger John said...

you absolutely are the big tool. Hey I meant to tell you last time I was at your house I stepped on some box of flourescent lights and something cracked. It's probably nothing just thought I should mention it.

3:23 PM

Blogger danielle said...

i googled big tool and found you and so now i have to go deliver legal proceedings and chinese junk to sergei and larry for ruining my life. thanks google.

6:53 PM

Blogger more anonymity said...

you could have taken the bloggicist (narcissism in relation to blogs) route and just used your name?

8:07 AM

Blogger Tigerlily said...

I spit oodles of noodles on my computer laughing at your posts! I like big tools, very handy.

1:18 PM


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